Monday, April 14, 2008







Thursday, April 10, 2008


I haven't posted in almost 2 months.

I'm sure most of you are at least a bit curious as to why, or you were until my dad told you.

I moved back home, back to Fort Worth, back with my dad and withdrew from college.

I was supposed to go home on Friday, I had to work, but I was sick so I called in and told them I would need an extra day. Saturday I would drive back. I went to see Colorado and was over until about midnight, maybe a bit later. When I was leaving I was very upset, I didn't want to go back. I was so unhappy down there and it just felt... wrong? But I finish what I start, I was going back the next day, like it or not. I cried the whole way home.

When I got home, I managed to calm down enough to silently walk to my room to go to my room without waking Momma. Unfortunately, she was sitting on the couch when I walked in the door.

"What's wrong"

I proceeded to ball my eyes out for 2-3 hours.

I didn't go back to Galveston.

Until I had to go get:
my dog
my clothes
my dishes
my pots and pans
my books
my furniture

JP was with me, but it was still one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Anytime I ran into anyone I knew, I had to explain the situation. Why I was dropping out of college. Everyone told me not to. I knew I shouldn't. But it wasn't something that I should or should not do. Wanted to do. Took any pleasure in doing. I had to. Bottom line: I was failing classes, completely miserable, and wanted nothing more than to wallow in my unhappiness when I was there. Not healthy for a 19 year old.

So now you know. I don't want advise, words of wisdom, or helpful hints. While these are all god things to have. I seem to be getting so many of each that any time anyone mentions it I want to shoot them. Everyone cares, and i now everyone wants to help, but sometimes letting me make some mistakes and try to pick up the pieces on my own is exactly what I need.

Love you all,
Water Baby

Thursday, February 14, 2008

All I Want Is You

Barry Louis Polisar

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if i was a tree growing tall and green
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow
Just as long as you were with me, let the cold winds blow

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod
If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.
If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug


If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.
If you were the love, I'd be the desire.
If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.


Daddy likes this song and wanted me to post the lyrics and I though Valentines day would be appropriate! It's from the movie Juno as well.

Physical Exertion For Mental Stimulation

Mother of Invention posted this list of natural highs and I had one that I wanted to share.

1. Falling in love

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket.

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail.

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer

11. Milkshake (any flavor).

12. A bubble bath.

13. Giggling.

15. The beach.

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.

17. Laughing at yourself.

18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you

19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

20. Running through sprinklers.

21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS

24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.

26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).

27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

28. Playing with a new puppy.

29. Having someone play with your hair.

30. Sweet dreams.

31. Hot chocolate.

32. Road trips with friends.

33. Swinging on swings.

34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

35. Making chocolate chip cookies.

36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.

37. Holding hands with someone you care about.

38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.

39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.

40. Watching the sunrise.

41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

42. Knowing that somebody misses you.

43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

45. Hearing a loon’s call!

46. Waking up and seeing your cat's big eyes looking at you.

47. Being at a hockey game and having your team play well and win their game.

48. Being able to run until you *can't* anymore, then slowly stretching out all of your muscles.

Add one and Pass on These Natural Highs to anyone you wish!

Friday, February 8, 2008


Daddy posted about a song yesterday and I would like to do the same today. Look over there ~~> and hit the play button, its a song.

Colorado took me to see a movie while I was home for Christmas, Juno. The song is called Tree Hugger by Antsy Pants. I don't really have much to say about the song itself, just wanted to share it with you!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Dog Days of College

I have a few "half posts" that I would really like to share with yall, I'll post some of them I'm sure, but most of the things bouncing around in my head right now are never going to come to fruition and that makes me sad.

This first in a series of who knows how many will be about Twister.

Twister is my dog

my puppy

my baby

He was my birthday present when I turned 15.

A few years before this, Rip and I shared a dog named Bear. Bear had always had a problem jumping fences. He was too good at it. We had a 7 foot fence that he would leap over in order to meet us (and the rest of the elementary school) halfway home from school.

My stepdad had a coworker that was moving to Austin where he had a few acres. Let's call him Bob. Bob offered to take Bear off our hands, we had a baby on the way, we were moving where we only had a 4 foot fence, so Bear would jump much more often. Momma decided that Bear had to go.

Well that's what they told us at the time.

My stepdad took Bear to the Humane Society and told them about Bear, they took him and sent him to another family. Momma now says that she went in to check on him 3 days later and he was already adopted.


He was our dog.

So, when I got Twister a few years later, I made sure he was my dog. In my name.

Twister is a pure bred English Springer Spaniel. I got him for $35 out of the back of a pick-up truck. He is liver and white and completely adorable!!

My stepdad decided that when Twister turned a year old, that it was time for him to live outside, instead of in my room.

Twister contracted heart worms shortly after, my stepdad wanted to put him down, it was too expensive to fix him. Luckily Momma talked him into helping me save my dog's life. His part was completely financial of coarse.

When I moved in with Daddy, I couldn't bring Twister. Daddy lives in an apartment. Once again, my stepdad entered the picture. He wanted to get rid of Twister because I wouldn't be taking care of him anymore. Momma put her foot down, once again, and Twister remained a part of my family.

I went to college and he pulled the same stunt, only this time I had to find a place for him to live once I moved to Galveston. I asked everyone I knew, I searched for a good home for him that I knew, so once I figured out stuff down here, I could bring Twister down. I finally found a friend who would do it, Momma!

So Momma made my stepdad keep Twister.

When I got back to Galveston from Christmas Break, there were puppies everywhere! I went to talk to my manager and pay rent and she said that I could bring a dog here, so that weekend, 2 days later, I drove 5 hours home and 5 hours back to get my dog.

I'm sure yall have noticed the picture of him on my blog, that was taken 4 years ago when he was 3 months old. He is so happy to be here and I am so happy to have him, I'm pretty sure I couldn't go back to living without him now that I have him here!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Happy New Year!!!

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year! Since I came Home, I haven't been online at all. This is the first time I've been on!

I wanted to write a bit about how I've changed and what the New Year might mean to me. Over the past year, I have realized a few truths about myself.

I find things I like to do and intend to do them on a consistent basis, but never manage to keep up with it, I go through phases of interest. Blogging, poetry, puzzles, reading, I love all of them, but can go months without reading a book for pleasure and then read 17 books in two weeks. I wish I could be more consistent next year.

I feel like I need my friends. I don't like to function without having some kind of friendly banter going on. I had never been away from my confidants before I moved to Galveston. I'm so glad I figured this out before I moved far away for a job some time in the future. I want to find a way to make friends in Galveston and live (sanely!) without my friends back Home.

I am a push over. I let people do pretty much what they want concerning me and I shouldn't. I need to learn to stand up for myself.

These could be considered New Year's Resolutions, but I don't think of them that way. They are just things I want to make better about myself. I would probably make this list at this point in my life even if it were not for the New Year.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007


Sometimes I feel tainted
Ruining everything I touch
My face, though pretty painted
Is vial, you should treat me such
Coral from the ocean,
Flowers from the earth.
All faded into nothing
when I was given birth.
Things I see so pretty
Beautiful in my eye
truly are the wreckage of
Their once sought after lust.
People, things and places,
once so clean and pure and fresh,
are now the shards of mirrors
My own looking glass
Even this, my own work
has no scheme or rhyme
Just a bunch of clumsy words
Put together at one time.

Looks like I'm finally feeling the poetry thing again... too bad it's sad.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Walking the Winding Path of Self Discovery

I'm still reading The Secret and it told me to make a list of things that I am grateful for and that seems like the type of thing I should put on here. It didn't give me a number, but I'm going to say that every person should be able to think of at least 10 things that they are grateful for so that's what I'm going to do!

1. I'm grateful I have my family. As much as Momma gets on my case, yells at me, or tries to fix my hair or clothes before I leave the house, I know that she does so much for me. She pushed me way to hard to get into college, but look where I am today, I love being here, I'm doing what I want to do, honestly, sometimes it's a bit surreal to me to think that one day *I* will get to touch an Orca Whale. That speaks to me. The only reason I've done as well as I have so far is all thanks to my mother! I'm grateful for my Dad, Steve. He was not a very big part of my life for awhile, but since he came back, I don't know what I would do without him. He is such an amazing source of information that I don't really want to know, but can't help but be curious about. I love hearing his stories about his dad, his mom, his childhood and everything since then. Yall think his blog is something, try living with him! He thinks of these stories and the way he tells them is, believe it or not, so much better than the way he writes it! Even Rip, who gets into all kinds of trouble all the time, I'm so glad I have him! He was my best friend for the first decade of my life. I still love him more than I know. Dr. Carrot-Top is such a special little boy. He makes you realize all the small things in life that truly matter. He asked my grandmother one day "Nana, What do you call the holes in your nose that boogers come out of?" Adorable.

2. I'm grateful for my friends. At any given moment, I can call five different girls or three different guys and they will talk to me, when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I'm-so-bored-out-of-my-mind-that-if-I-don't-talk-to-

I love my friends so much, and I'm so very grateful to have them. I'm not sure how sane I would be today if it wasn't for them.

3. I'm so happy I met Red. She wasn't supposed to be my rooommate. When she came to get her apartment, they changed them around and kicked another girl out of the room so that she could live there. I'm so grateful that they did. If I hadn't met Red I'm pretty sure that both of us would be in tiny little pieces on the kitchen floor somewhere right about now.

4. I'm grateful for music. I love music, it has given me and so many people I know so much happiness. From me and my friends sitting around listening to music, having it become a part of my life in band all the way to Mother of Invention's song that she wrote and sang and is now all over the web on youtube! Music helps people cheer up, breaks the ice, validates their emotions, helps with focus, and setting the mood. When you hear a song that was very important to you at a certain point in your life, you remember what was going on, you remember how you were feeling and some of the problems. We all have a soundtrack to our lives and I'm so thankful for that!

5. I'm thankful that I get to go home. I'm so lucky to be able to fly home for holidays! Some people don't get to do that. I take for granted everything my parents do for me and I'm oh so very thankful that they do, without my approval and sometimes to my distaste, my mom and dad take care of me, every day. Momma sent me a package in the mail with baked potatoes, these amazing chocolate lava volcano things and fillet mignon, all frozen and ready to cook because she "Wanted to make sure you, Red and Houston were well fed for our finals." I talked to Daddy while I was crying, wanting to come home, very upset about being alone, and he asks me for my friend's number so that I can have my flute, that they bought me, because it makes me happy to play it for him. This all seems like it's being grateful for my mom and dad, but I have to be grateful for them because everything I do leads back to something they have taught me.

It took me a few days to write this, but I think it's worth it, I didn't make my goal of 10 but these 5 will do quite nicely, maybe I'll come back and write 5 more, but I got stuck on how amazing my parents are, how most people's parents are. Even as teenagers we cry and whine and act like small children, we all do it, at more appropriate times than small children, but we do. I'm sure that every once in a while, even the most adult of grown-ups feels like throwing a temper tantrum. I'm so glad I have my mom and dad to let me cry over silly things sometimes.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The Secret

A few days ago, I was looking around at everyone's blog and found this on the Red Dirt Scribbler's blog. She was looking for a way to "Pay It Forward" in the blogging world, without giving away personal information. I found a way that I can help!

I read a book called The Secret by Rhonda Byrne a few days ago. I was pretty upset, I was sad, bored and very lonely. So Red took me to Borders bookstore. I love bookstores. Daddy told you about my Adventures on the Candy Aisle, well when I'm in a bookstore, the opposite happens. I find books that I would love to read. Unless I limit my time in a bookstore to about a half an hour.... bad things happen.

Any way, I came out of the bookstore 20 minutes later, 30 dollars poorer and 3 books happier. One of these books was The Secret. It is a book that tells you the secret to life, the universe and everything. My way of "Paying It Forward" is to tell you The Secret.

You have powers. Brain powers! When you think about something, you send out a frequency, like a little radio wave. An idea is sent out into the world anytime you think, which is pretty often! This frequency attracts other like frequencies, causing people and thoughts that are similar to what you think to come to you. So, if you think "I'm going to get a new car" and you truly believe that you will get a new car, guess what. You'll get a new car. Because you are thinking about it often and you truly believe it will happen, a situation will present itself so that you get a new car in the near future. This concept works for a lot of things, loosing weight, finding love, being happy.

I hope you read my post about being sad, well after I read this book, I consciously began thinking about happy things, if I couldn't stay asleep, I would think 'I'm glad I got a few hours of sleep at least'. And things have been going better for me since I started doing this. I have been happier, found things that I need to do. Fix problems that were there that I don't have anymore! If everyone is aware of The Secret then more people will be happy and maybe want to tell their friends about it. The world becomes a better place, with more happy people.