RED DIRT GIRL
I MISS YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
HOPE EVERYONE HAS A WONDERFUL, HAPPY, AMAZING DAY
CAUSE ITS RED DIRT GIRL'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Transcendence
I haven't posted in almost 2 months.
I'm sure most of you are at least a bit curious as to why, or you were until my dad told you.
I moved back home, back to Fort Worth, back with my dad and withdrew from college.
I was supposed to go home on Friday, I had to work, but I was sick so I called in and told them I would need an extra day. Saturday I would drive back. I went to see Colorado and was over until about midnight, maybe a bit later. When I was leaving I was very upset, I didn't want to go back. I was so unhappy down there and it just felt... wrong? But I finish what I start, I was going back the next day, like it or not. I cried the whole way home.
When I got home, I managed to calm down enough to silently walk to my room to go to my room without waking Momma. Unfortunately, she was sitting on the couch when I walked in the door.
"What's wrong"
I proceeded to ball my eyes out for 2-3 hours.
I didn't go back to Galveston.
Until I had to go get:
my dog
my clothes
my dishes
my pots and pans
my books
my furniture
JP was with me, but it was still one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Anytime I ran into anyone I knew, I had to explain the situation. Why I was dropping out of college. Everyone told me not to. I knew I shouldn't. But it wasn't something that I should or should not do. Wanted to do. Took any pleasure in doing. I had to. Bottom line: I was failing classes, completely miserable, and wanted nothing more than to wallow in my unhappiness when I was there. Not healthy for a 19 year old.
So now you know. I don't want advise, words of wisdom, or helpful hints. While these are all god things to have. I seem to be getting so many of each that any time anyone mentions it I want to shoot them. Everyone cares, and i now everyone wants to help, but sometimes letting me make some mistakes and try to pick up the pieces on my own is exactly what I need.
Love you all,
Water Baby
I'm sure most of you are at least a bit curious as to why, or you were until my dad told you.
I moved back home, back to Fort Worth, back with my dad and withdrew from college.
I was supposed to go home on Friday, I had to work, but I was sick so I called in and told them I would need an extra day. Saturday I would drive back. I went to see Colorado and was over until about midnight, maybe a bit later. When I was leaving I was very upset, I didn't want to go back. I was so unhappy down there and it just felt... wrong? But I finish what I start, I was going back the next day, like it or not. I cried the whole way home.
When I got home, I managed to calm down enough to silently walk to my room to go to my room without waking Momma. Unfortunately, she was sitting on the couch when I walked in the door.
"What's wrong"
I proceeded to ball my eyes out for 2-3 hours.
I didn't go back to Galveston.
Until I had to go get:
my dog
my clothes
my dishes
my pots and pans
my books
my furniture
JP was with me, but it was still one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Anytime I ran into anyone I knew, I had to explain the situation. Why I was dropping out of college. Everyone told me not to. I knew I shouldn't. But it wasn't something that I should or should not do. Wanted to do. Took any pleasure in doing. I had to. Bottom line: I was failing classes, completely miserable, and wanted nothing more than to wallow in my unhappiness when I was there. Not healthy for a 19 year old.
So now you know. I don't want advise, words of wisdom, or helpful hints. While these are all god things to have. I seem to be getting so many of each that any time anyone mentions it I want to shoot them. Everyone cares, and i now everyone wants to help, but sometimes letting me make some mistakes and try to pick up the pieces on my own is exactly what I need.
Love you all,
Water Baby
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