What Now?

I'm a senior in High School.

I'm in The Band.

I play the flute.

I'm a writer.

Yall don't know much else about me, now do you?

Well, I've learned so much about all of yall over the past few months, I just thought I would fill you in...

When I grow up, I want to be a Marine Biologist. I want to be the girl that rides Shamu in the Sea World Show, be the girl who blows the whistle and the dolphins jump through that hoop.

I want to go to A&M Galveston. I sent in my application, but that was two or three weeks ago and they haven't even recognised it yet... I'm starting to get scared...

I graduate in May, over the summer, me and some of my girl friends want to go on a road trip, maybe to Colorado, possibly Cali, we're not sure yet, but I have a feeling that we're gonna spend the whole summer planning the trip and we wont ever actually get around to going.

I'm a Lifeguard, I love being in the water. Last summer a little girl jumped off of the diving board and pretty soon she couldn't make it to the side. I jumped in and saved her. Her dad yelled at her. Parents yell when they get worried.

I like Coke. Weather it be a Pepsi, Coca Cola, RC Cola, Dublin Dr. Pepper (only real sugar *yumm*), Mountain Dew, any of the above, twist of Cherry/Vanilla Flavoring.

I like going swimming at midnight with a bunch of friends, it's dark and it's just us, no one can come into our little world, unless of coarse we get too loud, then the nice police man comes and tells us we should "Skee-daddle"

I like wearing my hair in pig tails, braided, like little girls and Ellie Mae.

I have green eyes. I like to say they look like McDonald's pickles, other times they look yellowish on the inside, turn brilliant emerald green, light blue, and by the time you get to the outside of the colorful part, there is a ring of forest green there.

My pupils are HUGE

My favorite stone is a Sapphire.

My mom says I wear too much eyeliner, my friends tell me I don't wear enough

I'm a band nerd, I love band, it's an awesome experience, but I'm terribly afraid that that wonderful portion of my life is over. I'm gonna miss it. A lot.

There isn't a band at A&M Galveston, the only sports we have are rowing and crew (sailboat racing)

My dad wants to find me a prom date out of a catalog, he thinks I can't find my own date...

I don't even want to go to prom...

I'm terrified of needles. They freak me out. Even more than Cockroaches.

*shudder*

Did I ever tell you about the time my U.S. History teacher threw a live cockroach on me, I screamed bloody murder so loud that a few teachers from other class rooms came to see what happened and I sat in the fetal position for about 20 minutes crying? Well now I did.

I've been messing up a lot lately, I'm sorry Daddy, Momma, I'm 18, I feel like I need to spread my wings a little bit before I leave so that when I crash and burn, I can just come back home and lick my wounds. If I don't do it now, I'll do it when I leave, and then I'll be about 500 miles away (I think?... how far is it from "Funky Town" Ft. Worth to Galveston?). I don't want to crash and not be able to pick up the pieces... I still need you guys!

Just a few things about me, why I do certain things, and what lies in my future.

Cross my fingers X X close my eyes >_< and make a wish

I'm almost a grown up...

I Love My Mother

My mom is a pirate. My dad used to be a pirate, but he found his happy thought.

If you have ever seen the movie Hook, you know what I’m talking about. For those of you that haven’t:

Pirates are those people who ‘Grew up’, they are ‘Grown ups’.

They lost their happy thought somewhere along the way and forgot how to fly.

I hope I never forget how to fly.

Most people don’t realize when they lose their happy thought, it just kind of happens.

You know my mother as X Mrs. Bulletholes, I’ll just call her Momma. Momma works. Momma works a lot. Momma tries very hard to be everything to her children and at work, but she can’t. It’s just not humanly possible. Her expectations of herself are going to lead to a nervous break down, and she’s already half there. When something goes wrong, she tries to micromanage everything so that it will all be o.k. in the end.

I don’t think she realizes that some things she thinks are going wrong are just taking the scenic route on the path through life.

Momma expects everyone around her to be perfect as well, I think. I was upset and told her that maybe I didn’t want to go to college, and she sent me to the counselor at school. Do all moms stress you out more than help sometimes?

Mine does.